Blind Sided Thought

I don’t often base things on Hollywood, however under the right circumstance I feel movies like music can invoke more than just entertainment.

The movie is The Blind Side, based on a true story it’s about how a wealthy family adopts a boy who ends up being an exceptional football player. Now I may not be a member of a wealthy family, and I have yet to become an amazing athlete. However I do relate to the story… I too lack a biological mother as a role model, I have had multiple “moms” influence me to my current path and I will admit that this relation moved me a bit and left me thinking about how I got where I am today.

I took the thought a step further and instead of how I got to my current situation, how do children manage to comeback from great adversity? Children live for the moment in a lot of ways, scrape their knee and the next day they are climbing trees and performing various acts that could wind up in further injury… however they do it because it’s fun and fun is the most important part of being a kid. The same is true for emotional trauma, we all experienced the loss of a pet as a child and although we may have been sad for a week, month maybe? In the end we were able to overcome the feelings and move on.

Now I’m not saying we all need to adopt the next child we see, but take the time to be there for a child. Even if you don’t have your own children you can still be a positive influence of change! Why not volunteer for a childrens charity? Or get involved with your local big brothers, big sisters? Even small involvement could have profound effects on a childs future can you remember an experience or a person who helped you as a child?

Hyper Parenting: More isn't better

It doesn’t matter if your gen. X, Y, millennial, or boomer. We all share a common responsibility of creating a healthy environment to raise our children… but what if the biggest issue isn’t external but parents themselves? Over the next few entries I’d like to consider the future of kids.

Hyper Parenting is becoming a dangerous trend, rather than allowing kids to make their own choices parents instead have created schedules for every aspect of their childs life. This trend began with the discovery that our brains make more connections in the first years of our life compared to any other time of our lives. Business capitalized on this, creating hundreds of systems with the objective of “training baby” Who doesn’t want to give their child an edge in this competitive world? Although the best intentions these super parents are causing problems that will affect their child well into adulthood.

Children need to lose! I can’t remember when the transition happened but in elementary school we stopped getting first, second, and third instead we got “participation ribbons.” No one was cut from the team and everyone got equal opportunity. When I was younger I would challenge my dad to chess; I lost every single game because he refused to let me win. However, I kept trying and because I tried I learned, without failure and competition kids miss out on valuable skills needed later in the workforce such as persistence, problem solving, and determination.

Generation Y it’s up to us! We we’re raised by hyper parents, but we don’t need to replicate their strategy. We can go back to letting kids be kids, un-structured play, win & lose, freedom to choose and the trust to explore. It’s important to involve children in the choice of what activities they would like to do rather than choosing activities that we feel are necessary to accomplish the “perfect child image.” Humans are imperfect and that’s what makes us unique, by admitting to an imperfection in a child we can truly admire their success.

Sexual offence in BC school

This week a Coquitlam based substitute teacher was charged with sex-related offenses involving children. At this time there are nine confirmed victims however it is speculated that more children have been abused and not yet come forward. Aleksandr Plehanov was a substitute teacher in school district 43 from January 31, 2007 till March 15, 2010 a police investigation began after a concerned parent reported to police that her daughter had been inappropriately touched by a teacher.

Quoting privacy laws the district has not revealed information indicating if Alex is still on payroll since his suspension. I found it outrageous that The B.C. College of Teachers would defend the privacy of Plehanov who has now been charged with sexual interference, sexual exploitation and sexual assault.

If careers involving regular driving require a yearly drivers abstract, why are regular criminal record checks and assessments not required for teachers? We need to demand higher levels of security for people interacting with children. However security is not enough. Proper awareness is also necessary to prevent future repeat offenders going unnoticed.

Inform your local member of parliament that you want to see stricter security checks for individuals who work with children.

To view the whole story and see a list of schools Plehanov taught at:
The Vancouver Sun

The walk to success

Today was the Walk for Kids Help Phone! As always the hot dogs were great, the supporters were amazing, and walkers proved no matter the weather they will always strap on their runners in order to be there for kids.

This year was a tough year for us all, we faced economic adversity and provided aide in the face of other nation’s disaster. Often when we are faced with these difficult times we close our wallets to charity, or perhaps a firmly understood charity is our more likely choice. In my thanks to all the volunteers, corporate sponsors, and walk coordinators who make this incredible event happen, I want to share the difference a dollar can make.

Its New Year’s, a boy is crying again, not because he didn't get the right gift at Christmas but because he’s scared. Unsure what his future is in this world he picks up the phone, he’s not a stranger to 1-800-668-6868 he’s called a few times before. He doesn't wait very long and he hears a familiar voice on the line, a counselor named Sandra they had spoken before. The boy asks if the New Year is worth living. Sandra knows his story, his struggle with an eating disorder, his abusive mom, and his struggle to survive. She doesn't talk down to him, she doesn't intimidate him, and she just listens to his pain. She’s not tracking his call, she doesn't even have call display to know his name she knows his name is Aidan because he trusted enough to tell her. It’s now 12:01 and officially a New Year and before Sandra ends the call she has one last request, for her efforts she kindly asks to have the honor to be the first person I wish a happy New Year to.

Several years have passed and many successes have been made towards my own success. However, every year on May 2nd I walk because I remember the counselors who saved my life. I have volunteered with this organization for 5 years and know the people who continue to play a crucial role in the lives of Canadian children. So I thank the ones who walked so I could talk, and I walk so more will talk!


Pictures from: Walk for Kids Help Phone 2010 (Vancouver, BC)

The unnecessary silence

In society we have made many steps towards gender equality; however, a strong male stereotype still prevents many boys and men from coming forward about mental health issues.

There was a study done in which five females and five males were put in separate rooms, five chairs were setup in a row side by side. When tested with multiple groups females were more likely to re-arrange the chairs into a circle in order to better converse with each other. Males were more likely to sit without facing each other when talking. Men and women are different in many ways especially when it comes to dealing with our feelings.

When I present to students I often state that mental health is gender neutral. Males have body image issues just as females and atrocities like rape occur to both genders every day. However, in serious issues like rape and abuse females are far more likely to come forward and speak out.

By removing the macho stereotype boys will be more likely to come forward sooner, possibly preventing a long term abusive situation. As someone who had to find their voice in order to gain help with my past I know the struggles and concerns males have.

The first instances of abusive situations within trusted organizations like Scouts and the Catholic Church were from adult males revealing the abuse that occurred in childhood. This has now encouraged boys to break the silence and reveal many cases of abuse. It is important that we continue to encourage boys to share their emotions because no one deserves to feel down or fear a negative response because of their gender.

The double-edged sword of Mental Health

Labels, it becomes a psychiatric breakthrough when a new label can be added to a set of behaviors and emotions. Labels indicate understanding and can specify treatment for a particular issue leading to a patient successfully overcoming adversity. Although these characteristics of a label can be beneficial to clinicians what is the effect on a patient?

Let me be the first to say I am not a professional in the field of mental health. However, I have been a patient and so will examine influences labels have on patients working to overcome their issues.

Labels exist in educational development such as Dyslexia or Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD] and go as big as mental health concerns such as Anorexia, Bipolar, Borderline-Personality Disorder and Depression. All these titles exist to support Psychologists in supporting their patients through tested methods of care in order to overcome the issue

First, think about the last time someone told us "you seem sad today" or even harmful phrases like "your ugly!" "You’re stupid!" Perhaps we were having a great day, someone misread our behaviors, we now have this thought that we could be sad and influencing our behavior in the day. The same is true for the hurtful phrases they can modify our view and create a false image of what we had preconceived in our self.

Moving back to the topic of labels if a patient knew they had a learning disorder it could be possible for them to re-think what they are capable of limiting their true potential. The same is true for things like Depression and Anorexia, these labels could influence someone to believe they are more down, or more focused on their personal mood or weight then they may have been originally.

As we gain more knowledge in the field of mental health some of these labels people outside of the field have become aware of terms like depression and are replacing "you seem sad today" with “are you depressed lately?” Teens use the word anorexic in a way that could be described as bullying. Possibly magnifying a childs natural struggle over body image. Growing up I will never forget the famous words of a dying super hero's father, "with great power comes great responsibility" knowledge is the futures power, and in the field of mental health we need to ensure we use the labels of discovery responsibly and leave the labeling to those trained within the field of mental health.

Kids Help Phone: Supporting Futures

I have talked a bit lately on successful awareness strategies, and motivation of a target audience via mass messaging. With the upcoming Walk for Kids Help Phone I wanted to showcase a non-profit that has put all these practices to work for over 20 years as a national help line for Canadian kids.

Let’s head back to May 16th 1989, its noon and the phone lines just opened for the first time offering professional counseling for whatever kids wanted to talk about. Kids Help Phone didn't waste any time with Much Music airing a service announcement about their organization. Using the media giant Much Music which already maintained viewership from hundreds of thousands of kids took KHP from an unknown into a popular choice for support among kids.

In 1996 Kids Help Phone embraced the future as they launched Kidshelpphone.ca spreading their willingness to help to the online generation. In this year they also launched the Student Ambassador Program during International Youth Week, to date this program has trained over 9,000 students and continues to grow.

Within only a few years into the new millennium it was realized that to support such a vast country chapters needed to be established. These Chapters aid in awareness for KHP, seek out philanthropic donors, and organize events to both educate and fund raise. The use of chapters was so successful that the organization now has over 50! In 2002 Kidshelphone.ca launched online counseling, with the realization that it can sometimes be hard or not convenient for children to speak over the phone Kids Help Phone opened the web to allow kids to post their issues and receive detailed feedback from a counselor just like on the phone. 2002 was also the first annual Walk for Kids Help Phone held in 20 communities across Canada. The walk is now the largest fundraising event of the year serving smiles and countless hotdogs, this event brings out thousands of supports to walk so kids can talk.

Moving closer to the present the efforts behind Kids Help Phone are still working at 110%. Three years ago KHP announced the Futures Campaign, a new vision focused on updating the way Kids Help Phone reached kids. Last month we saw the new Kids Help Phone site launch, a modern sleek location modified now with both kids & teen areas to better support the different ages that access the site. Also increased was the content library a vast collection of articles and information on things from bullying, mental health, and body development.

With the explosion of social media like Facebook and Twitter it was realized to support the modern child connections would have to be made in these communities. Within the past 6 months they created a positive, informative trend on Twitter and are about to pass 1000 fans on Facebook.

Through responsible corporate sponsors, thousands of volunteers, and dedicated counselors millions of questions would go un-answered without Kids Help Phone. This fantastic group stands behind their slogan “Whatever the problem talk to us.” With the launch of the Futures Campaign it is clear Kids Help Phone will be here 24/7/365 for years to come and fully capable of helping children with any issue.

Links:

Kids Help Phone Organization
Walk for Kids Help Phone site

Pink Shirt Day

In my previous post I discussed the need to go big in order to solve global problems. In recognition of Pink Shirt Day I wanted to discuss how a simple idea has been so successful

Pink Shirt Day was started in Nova Scotia because a boy was bullied on the first day of school for wearing a pink shirt. To take a stand against bullying David Shepherd and Travis Price decided they would use a pink shirt to represent their campaign. After only a few years this symbol has become a national day of awareness. The reason for Pink Shirt Days success is first the low cost factor, as well as using students as volunteers.

Cost has always been a huge factor when designing an awareness campaign, with recent economic struggles and reduced funding to schools it is now imperative to the success of an initiative. By making Pink Shirt Day low cost it can easily be integrated into the school schedule because local schools do not have to commit funding to the cause.

However cost is only an issue on creating the campaign it is not the key influence on a successful message. Pink Shirt Days primary success comes from using possible future bullies in its operation. By getting students excited about anti-bullying messages you influence the individual not to bully another child this also influences the social circle of that student to stand behind the cause and putting an end to bullying.

As the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. The number one reason for campaigns directed to youth failing is because more often than not they involve a speaker telling the student body what to do, how to think, and how to act. Instead we need to empower students to find their own solutions after all no one likes being told what to do. This fundamental of empowering users ensures that after the pink shirts are put away the message of anti-bullying will continue.

Global change, unified solution

I recently had the pleasure to meet the founder for Global Agents for Change a non-profit working to change the third world. What I was most intrigued by was how they were going to accomplish their goals through development of society, such as education in the 3rd world countries, and empowering the young people of our nation to come up with create ideas for change.

Taking this idea one step further I related the causes of turmoil in the 3rd world to the key causes of childhood abuse, poor education, poverty, and lack or limit of basic human needs. All these issues occur in the 3rd world just as they do in the nations we call home. What this means is we need to solve the source, break the catalyst to break the chain. In my previous post I revealed statistics of over 100,000 cases in Canada alone... The demand to solve each case individually is huge. However, investing in community programs for adult education as well as maintaining and improving the level of funding for the future generations schooling will decrease poverty and remove two of the key causes for Child Abuse.

We are quickly approaching a global population of 7 billion people; some of our issues have grown too large to solve one water pump at a time. We need to unify our efforts and attack the key reasons people suffer, invest in a community, and invest in a national school program. In the issue of abuse out of the thousands of cases reported there are still many who are too afraid to speak. By using mass messaging we improve the chances of reaching that child. I challenge my readers to raise your voice and incite change, the use of word and media is the first step to a global solution.

Child abuse, todays greatest atrocity

April is national child abuse prevention month. The statistics are overwhelming with over 200,000 cases in 2003 according to the Canadian Incidence Study. However, a stat is just that its a number, and as such it is easily forgotten. I am a survivor of abuse, a face, not a number. Well putting together the initial post on this topic a friend asked if I was affected? I replied that I wasn't, not by circumstance but by choice... if I hope to incite change I must also show strength.

National child abuse prevention month is exactly that, its change. Although abuse occurs thousands of times a year throughout all nations of the world it is rarely discussed. We often hear "children are the future," then I ask what are we doing to protect the future?

Kids Help Phone, a non-profit organization consisting of web/phone short term counseling had 2.2million contacts in 2008 from Canadian kids, 23% of those contacts were in regards to Mental Health and currently the organizations website has just under 5000 entries under the violence & abuse forum.

The current generation is filled with a great courage, they have the strength to discuss and report abuse. Throughout the month I will discuss the types of abuse and how you can raise a voice in opposition towards this heinous crime.


Resources: Kids Help Phone
CIS child abuse report(PDF)
Image: Aidan Scott

Trauma breakthrough via Tetris

Well scanning various stories today on Kotaku I came across this new research in the field of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. An Oxford University research group took a group of volunteers and exposed them to video depicting various forms of traumatic events. After thirty minutes half the group played the video game Tetris, and the other half did nothing. The study showed significant reduction of traumatic experience in the volunteers who played Tetris.

How does it work? The left side of our brain is responsible for taking in data, this data is held for a short period until the brain amalgamates these senses together to make a long term memory and moves the data to the right side of our brain. By playing Tetris within six hours of the event the patients mind becomes overloaded and unable to retain all the details from the trauma reducing its affects.

Could video games be hidden solutions for other mental health conditions?

for further details see..
Oxford Study

Prosecution, beneficial to recovery?

Over the past months I have noticed an increase of news stories relating to sexual assault, and cases involving sexual abuse. This is unfortunately a double edged sword, on one side I am pleased to see this once back room topic being brought into the public eye. However, it is also heartbreaking that these stories exist in the first place.

The biggest story lately has surrounded the sexual assault case involving the Saskatchewan Rough Riders GM. In short the case surrounds an event that happened during the summer where Mr. Tillman allegedly assaulted his family’s 16 year old babysitter. For his defense Mr. Tillman brings up the fact that he was on a double dose of sleep aids and muscle relaxants. Where this case gets frustrating is the fact that Mr. Tillman openly pleads guilty in the end with a heartfelt apology to the victim, The Verdict? An absolute discharge, meaning there will be no record of the charge.

Seeing this story caused me to reflect back on my own recovery and whether prosecution hinders or aids in recovery. In my situation the case did not reach a court room, that isn't to say the case was quickly dismissed. In fact, the constable overseeing the case investigated for over a year and had multiple interviews with my mother, as well as third parties. However, the first issue with assault cases involving sex is that the activity has no witnesses. Unlike physical assault, which can happen in the public eye, sexual abuse is closed door. This creates an almost impossible case for a defense lawyer because it’s a matter of "he said, she said."

For me, the courage It took to tell the police what had happened was a step forward in my recovery. The fact that I was breaking the silence to a secret we had taken fault to for so many years, and then being told that not only was it not our fault but in fact an illegal action for our perpetrator. Although it still took several months to confidently say,
"It's not my fault"
I still consider this initial event to be a major player in my inevitable acceptance in what had happened.

On the other side of the blade was pain, and confusion for I had been told the actions done to me where a crime and yet a year later that same constable had to tell me the case had ended due to lack of substantial evidence. When I remember how I felt that day I can guess just how painful this recent verdict was for that girl.

In conclusion, the legal system will never be perfect because humans are an un-perfect system. Does prosecution benefit the victim? Yes, as long as they are at the right stage and willing to accept both plausible outcomes. Although her case was not won, the fact it was in the media could give courage to another girl to come forward. We are in a generation filled with bravery, never before have so many males and females stood up and shouted,
"We will not be ashamed of who we are, we will be heard, we will break the chains of abuse, and we will not let you go un-noticed any longer!"
Now that I have been able to understand my abuse I have made it a personal mission to pay my courage forward so that others will also speak out. That being said we hope society can see through the legal system for what this case truly signifies, which is change.

The Preventative Option

I recently began doing presentations in schools to raise awareness for Kids Help Phone and to create interest in the organizations Student Ambassador program. After one of my presentations a student brought up a very interesting point, he wondered why an organization like Kids Help Phone is not government funded? This initiated a short conversation in regards to possible cost savings in preventative therapy.

As someone who has seen both youth and adult systems I know the strength and weakness of both. In the adult system the primary purpose seems to be damage control consisting primarily through medication and overloaded inpatient programs that seem to be a black hole for patient negativity. Alternatively the youth system focuses on moving forward through issues and finding solutions. Is a patient for 10 years not far more cost effective then an adult who will need care for the rest of their life?

We need to develop our youth programs so kids can have a future tomorrow. The current generation is talking about issues never before brought before the public eye. Topics like male sexual abuse, Suicide, and sexual preference are no longer swept under societies mat, instead it is being challenged demanding change. To improve the health system of tomorrow funding and program development is required now in the resources responsible for assisting youth.