Blind Sided Thought

I don’t often base things on Hollywood, however under the right circumstance I feel movies like music can invoke more than just entertainment.

The movie is The Blind Side, based on a true story it’s about how a wealthy family adopts a boy who ends up being an exceptional football player. Now I may not be a member of a wealthy family, and I have yet to become an amazing athlete. However I do relate to the story… I too lack a biological mother as a role model, I have had multiple “moms” influence me to my current path and I will admit that this relation moved me a bit and left me thinking about how I got where I am today.

I took the thought a step further and instead of how I got to my current situation, how do children manage to comeback from great adversity? Children live for the moment in a lot of ways, scrape their knee and the next day they are climbing trees and performing various acts that could wind up in further injury… however they do it because it’s fun and fun is the most important part of being a kid. The same is true for emotional trauma, we all experienced the loss of a pet as a child and although we may have been sad for a week, month maybe? In the end we were able to overcome the feelings and move on.

Now I’m not saying we all need to adopt the next child we see, but take the time to be there for a child. Even if you don’t have your own children you can still be a positive influence of change! Why not volunteer for a childrens charity? Or get involved with your local big brothers, big sisters? Even small involvement could have profound effects on a childs future can you remember an experience or a person who helped you as a child?

Hyper Parenting: More isn't better

It doesn’t matter if your gen. X, Y, millennial, or boomer. We all share a common responsibility of creating a healthy environment to raise our children… but what if the biggest issue isn’t external but parents themselves? Over the next few entries I’d like to consider the future of kids.

Hyper Parenting is becoming a dangerous trend, rather than allowing kids to make their own choices parents instead have created schedules for every aspect of their childs life. This trend began with the discovery that our brains make more connections in the first years of our life compared to any other time of our lives. Business capitalized on this, creating hundreds of systems with the objective of “training baby” Who doesn’t want to give their child an edge in this competitive world? Although the best intentions these super parents are causing problems that will affect their child well into adulthood.

Children need to lose! I can’t remember when the transition happened but in elementary school we stopped getting first, second, and third instead we got “participation ribbons.” No one was cut from the team and everyone got equal opportunity. When I was younger I would challenge my dad to chess; I lost every single game because he refused to let me win. However, I kept trying and because I tried I learned, without failure and competition kids miss out on valuable skills needed later in the workforce such as persistence, problem solving, and determination.

Generation Y it’s up to us! We we’re raised by hyper parents, but we don’t need to replicate their strategy. We can go back to letting kids be kids, un-structured play, win & lose, freedom to choose and the trust to explore. It’s important to involve children in the choice of what activities they would like to do rather than choosing activities that we feel are necessary to accomplish the “perfect child image.” Humans are imperfect and that’s what makes us unique, by admitting to an imperfection in a child we can truly admire their success.

Sexual offence in BC school

This week a Coquitlam based substitute teacher was charged with sex-related offenses involving children. At this time there are nine confirmed victims however it is speculated that more children have been abused and not yet come forward. Aleksandr Plehanov was a substitute teacher in school district 43 from January 31, 2007 till March 15, 2010 a police investigation began after a concerned parent reported to police that her daughter had been inappropriately touched by a teacher.

Quoting privacy laws the district has not revealed information indicating if Alex is still on payroll since his suspension. I found it outrageous that The B.C. College of Teachers would defend the privacy of Plehanov who has now been charged with sexual interference, sexual exploitation and sexual assault.

If careers involving regular driving require a yearly drivers abstract, why are regular criminal record checks and assessments not required for teachers? We need to demand higher levels of security for people interacting with children. However security is not enough. Proper awareness is also necessary to prevent future repeat offenders going unnoticed.

Inform your local member of parliament that you want to see stricter security checks for individuals who work with children.

To view the whole story and see a list of schools Plehanov taught at:
The Vancouver Sun

The walk to success

Today was the Walk for Kids Help Phone! As always the hot dogs were great, the supporters were amazing, and walkers proved no matter the weather they will always strap on their runners in order to be there for kids.

This year was a tough year for us all, we faced economic adversity and provided aide in the face of other nation’s disaster. Often when we are faced with these difficult times we close our wallets to charity, or perhaps a firmly understood charity is our more likely choice. In my thanks to all the volunteers, corporate sponsors, and walk coordinators who make this incredible event happen, I want to share the difference a dollar can make.

Its New Year’s, a boy is crying again, not because he didn't get the right gift at Christmas but because he’s scared. Unsure what his future is in this world he picks up the phone, he’s not a stranger to 1-800-668-6868 he’s called a few times before. He doesn't wait very long and he hears a familiar voice on the line, a counselor named Sandra they had spoken before. The boy asks if the New Year is worth living. Sandra knows his story, his struggle with an eating disorder, his abusive mom, and his struggle to survive. She doesn't talk down to him, she doesn't intimidate him, and she just listens to his pain. She’s not tracking his call, she doesn't even have call display to know his name she knows his name is Aidan because he trusted enough to tell her. It’s now 12:01 and officially a New Year and before Sandra ends the call she has one last request, for her efforts she kindly asks to have the honor to be the first person I wish a happy New Year to.

Several years have passed and many successes have been made towards my own success. However, every year on May 2nd I walk because I remember the counselors who saved my life. I have volunteered with this organization for 5 years and know the people who continue to play a crucial role in the lives of Canadian children. So I thank the ones who walked so I could talk, and I walk so more will talk!


Pictures from: Walk for Kids Help Phone 2010 (Vancouver, BC)

The unnecessary silence

In society we have made many steps towards gender equality; however, a strong male stereotype still prevents many boys and men from coming forward about mental health issues.

There was a study done in which five females and five males were put in separate rooms, five chairs were setup in a row side by side. When tested with multiple groups females were more likely to re-arrange the chairs into a circle in order to better converse with each other. Males were more likely to sit without facing each other when talking. Men and women are different in many ways especially when it comes to dealing with our feelings.

When I present to students I often state that mental health is gender neutral. Males have body image issues just as females and atrocities like rape occur to both genders every day. However, in serious issues like rape and abuse females are far more likely to come forward and speak out.

By removing the macho stereotype boys will be more likely to come forward sooner, possibly preventing a long term abusive situation. As someone who had to find their voice in order to gain help with my past I know the struggles and concerns males have.

The first instances of abusive situations within trusted organizations like Scouts and the Catholic Church were from adult males revealing the abuse that occurred in childhood. This has now encouraged boys to break the silence and reveal many cases of abuse. It is important that we continue to encourage boys to share their emotions because no one deserves to feel down or fear a negative response because of their gender.

The double-edged sword of Mental Health

Labels, it becomes a psychiatric breakthrough when a new label can be added to a set of behaviors and emotions. Labels indicate understanding and can specify treatment for a particular issue leading to a patient successfully overcoming adversity. Although these characteristics of a label can be beneficial to clinicians what is the effect on a patient?

Let me be the first to say I am not a professional in the field of mental health. However, I have been a patient and so will examine influences labels have on patients working to overcome their issues.

Labels exist in educational development such as Dyslexia or Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD] and go as big as mental health concerns such as Anorexia, Bipolar, Borderline-Personality Disorder and Depression. All these titles exist to support Psychologists in supporting their patients through tested methods of care in order to overcome the issue

First, think about the last time someone told us "you seem sad today" or even harmful phrases like "your ugly!" "You’re stupid!" Perhaps we were having a great day, someone misread our behaviors, we now have this thought that we could be sad and influencing our behavior in the day. The same is true for the hurtful phrases they can modify our view and create a false image of what we had preconceived in our self.

Moving back to the topic of labels if a patient knew they had a learning disorder it could be possible for them to re-think what they are capable of limiting their true potential. The same is true for things like Depression and Anorexia, these labels could influence someone to believe they are more down, or more focused on their personal mood or weight then they may have been originally.

As we gain more knowledge in the field of mental health some of these labels people outside of the field have become aware of terms like depression and are replacing "you seem sad today" with “are you depressed lately?” Teens use the word anorexic in a way that could be described as bullying. Possibly magnifying a childs natural struggle over body image. Growing up I will never forget the famous words of a dying super hero's father, "with great power comes great responsibility" knowledge is the futures power, and in the field of mental health we need to ensure we use the labels of discovery responsibly and leave the labeling to those trained within the field of mental health.

Kids Help Phone: Supporting Futures

I have talked a bit lately on successful awareness strategies, and motivation of a target audience via mass messaging. With the upcoming Walk for Kids Help Phone I wanted to showcase a non-profit that has put all these practices to work for over 20 years as a national help line for Canadian kids.

Let’s head back to May 16th 1989, its noon and the phone lines just opened for the first time offering professional counseling for whatever kids wanted to talk about. Kids Help Phone didn't waste any time with Much Music airing a service announcement about their organization. Using the media giant Much Music which already maintained viewership from hundreds of thousands of kids took KHP from an unknown into a popular choice for support among kids.

In 1996 Kids Help Phone embraced the future as they launched Kidshelpphone.ca spreading their willingness to help to the online generation. In this year they also launched the Student Ambassador Program during International Youth Week, to date this program has trained over 9,000 students and continues to grow.

Within only a few years into the new millennium it was realized that to support such a vast country chapters needed to be established. These Chapters aid in awareness for KHP, seek out philanthropic donors, and organize events to both educate and fund raise. The use of chapters was so successful that the organization now has over 50! In 2002 Kidshelphone.ca launched online counseling, with the realization that it can sometimes be hard or not convenient for children to speak over the phone Kids Help Phone opened the web to allow kids to post their issues and receive detailed feedback from a counselor just like on the phone. 2002 was also the first annual Walk for Kids Help Phone held in 20 communities across Canada. The walk is now the largest fundraising event of the year serving smiles and countless hotdogs, this event brings out thousands of supports to walk so kids can talk.

Moving closer to the present the efforts behind Kids Help Phone are still working at 110%. Three years ago KHP announced the Futures Campaign, a new vision focused on updating the way Kids Help Phone reached kids. Last month we saw the new Kids Help Phone site launch, a modern sleek location modified now with both kids & teen areas to better support the different ages that access the site. Also increased was the content library a vast collection of articles and information on things from bullying, mental health, and body development.

With the explosion of social media like Facebook and Twitter it was realized to support the modern child connections would have to be made in these communities. Within the past 6 months they created a positive, informative trend on Twitter and are about to pass 1000 fans on Facebook.

Through responsible corporate sponsors, thousands of volunteers, and dedicated counselors millions of questions would go un-answered without Kids Help Phone. This fantastic group stands behind their slogan “Whatever the problem talk to us.” With the launch of the Futures Campaign it is clear Kids Help Phone will be here 24/7/365 for years to come and fully capable of helping children with any issue.

Links:

Kids Help Phone Organization
Walk for Kids Help Phone site